For transgender and non binary youth, coming out can often feel scary, especially when they fear they won’t be supported by their family members. Yet medical and psychological organizations across the country state definitively that loving, supporting and affirming trans and non-binary kids in their identities is the very best thing that any person can do. And we believe that parents want what is best for their children. You are not alone. HRC Foundation’s Parents for Transgender Equality Council is here to offer some advice that can make the transition a little easier for everyone:
My son starts middle school next week and seems absolutely fine with it. I, however, have been in a simmering state of anxiety for the last several months as I anticipate everything that could possibly go wrong. I’m sure every parent of every first-time middle schooler feels the same, but this situation is slightly different: my son is transgender.
It’s an awkward tension I find myself in daily -- feeling a responsibility to step up for my son while also feeling a responsibility as an ally to step back so that queer voices can be heard. I regularly hear words of encouragement and gratitude from LGBTQ people (and their parents) to keep going, but I also hear valid criticism from other queer people to sit down, and I struggle to know what is the right answer in each situation since both sides seem to be right.
We hope you didn’t read the religion column that the Denton Record-Chronicle published last week, where a minister forgot the calling of love. He thinks using your pronouns is “too PC,” so he’s not going to try. Like bullies often do, he tries to pass off his cruelty as humor. We hope the adults in your life don’t laugh alongside him because you are not something to be made fun of.
It’s time for Denton — and indeed our nation — to stand up for the rights of everyone, including the LGBTQ community and trans kids like my son, Max. We’ve done it before for other minority groups, and we can do it again. Anything less, quite frankly, is un-American.
If Max can’t even get an inhaler refill at the same doctor he’s been seeing for years, how easy will it be for him to get access to affirming care as he gets older?
They thought they could pick on trans kids like my son, they thought that no one would notice if trans people just disappeared, but they underestimated this mamabear, and they underestimated the power of the people. Because TOGETHER WE RISE.
In a world that wants to tell trans kids that they're different, you have an opportunity to tell them that they're special. Here are 5 ways you can be a better ally:
In no particular order, and certainly far from complete, here’s a list of a half-dozen things that parents of trans kids are thinking about when the school year starts, and how teachers, parents of cisgender kids, and friends can be allies. I’m sure we’d all rather be thinking about cool monkey bar tricks on the playground instead — but there’s a lot of work to do, first.
This story doesn’t begin with a bathroom break. This story begins at the age of two, when my child told me that he was a boy. To be honest, two-year-olds like to pretend that they’re lots of things, so I chalked it up to playing another round of make believe. Little did I know what the future would hold for my family.
Like most parents, there are plenty of days when I ask myself whether I’m a good mom. This was not one of them.
When Max’s peers line up for the bathroom next fall, Dan Patrick and Greg Abbott want my son to be separated from his class, to do a shameful march down the hall and to use a different facility. They want to demonstrate to his classmates that being different isn’t okay and that it’s perfectly acceptable to treat those differences with disdain and ridicule. That sounds like an awful lot like what bullies do.
People often ask me why I chose to allow my son to be transgender. But I think they're asking it all wrong.
The blue jellybeans were assembled in pint-sized mason jars on my kitchen table, and my husband was about to head to the store to pick up the balloon bouquet while I put the finishing touches on the decorations. The kids and I had made a batch of homemade chocolate ice cream, and the giant, freshly-baked… Continue reading Baby Shower 2.0: Celebrating My Transgender Son’s New Identity
It can be hard to understand our kids sometimes, but it should never be hard to love them. Here are a few of my reflections about our journey to become a trans-inclusive family.