Raising a kid is hard work. Raising a trans kid in Texas is even harder. And yet I grimace when people ask me, “Why don’t you just move?” The better question is, “Why don’t you just help?”
Yes, Texas is investigating parents of trans kids. We are two of them.
Texas DFPS has an active investigation open against my family, has already interrogated us in our home, and is now threatening to remove our kids from their loving family. The reason? We are parents of a transgender child. Here is our story:
Being trans doesn’t define my son – And he wants to talk about that.
It's time we stopped talking about WHAT trans kids are and focused more on WHO they are instead. That's why this #gendercool project is so important to my son, Max!
How to pass an Equality Ordinance! (Let’s do this, y’all!)
City council works for US, not the other way around! Which means that we the people want an Equality Ordinance, they'll only prioritize this if we prioritize it first.
Here's a rundown of where we're at, a glimpse at local politics that could affect this, and some solid action items for you to participate in! Share widely! #yallmeansall
LGBTQ People Need Massage Too: 4 Ways to Welcome a Diverse Clientele
As massage therapists, we are tasked to care for others and to meet our clients where they’re at, free of judgement. In this profession, we have the remarkable opportunity to work with people in very intimate, vulnerable settings, and that honor needs to be taken seriously and should be re-evaluated regularly to encourage a sense of safety, both physically and emotionally, every time a client is with us.
Ensuring that your website, language, and professional reputation in- and outside your studio reflect this will go a long way towards helping your clients feel more supported before they even pick up the phone to book their first appointment, and when they are in your studio as well.
If you’re looking for ways to welcome a more diverse clientele and show your support for the LGBTQ community, here are four important things you can do.
The Texas Attorney General Promised to Remember My Transgender Son. His Recent Actions Show He’s Forgotten
All those of us with transgender kids are asking is for politicians to stay out of our private lives and let us continue to raise our children in the most loving environments we can provide. For political leaders who care so much about privacy, that shouldn’t be too difficult.
You are not alone: Advice for parents of transgender children
For transgender and non binary youth, coming out can often feel scary, especially when they fear they won’t be supported by their family members.
Yet medical and psychological organizations across the country state definitively that loving, supporting and affirming trans and non-binary kids in their identities is the very best thing that any person can do. And we believe that parents want what is best for their children.
You are not alone. HRC Foundation’s Parents for Transgender Equality Council is here to offer some advice that can make the transition a little easier for everyone:
3 things your child can do to help make middle school better for my trans son
My son starts middle school next week and seems absolutely fine with it. I, however, have been in a simmering state of anxiety for the last several months as I anticipate everything that could possibly go wrong. I’m sure every parent of every first-time middle schooler feels the same, but this situation is slightly different: my son is transgender.
The awkward tension of being a public advocate for my transgender child
It’s an awkward tension I find myself in daily -- feeling a responsibility to step up for my son while also feeling a responsibility as an ally to step back so that queer voices can be heard. I regularly hear words of encouragement and gratitude from LGBTQ people (and their parents) to keep going, but I also hear valid criticism from other queer people to sit down, and I struggle to know what is the right answer in each situation since both sides seem to be right.
An open letter to trans and non-binary youth
We hope you didn’t read the religion column that the Denton Record-Chronicle published last week, where a minister forgot the calling of love. He thinks using your pronouns is “too PC,” so he’s not going to try. Like bullies often do, he tries to pass off his cruelty as humor. We hope the adults in your life don’t laugh alongside him because you are not something to be made fun of.
It’s Not Pie: Equal rights for others doesn’t mean fewer rights for you.
It’s time for Denton — and indeed our nation — to stand up for the rights of everyone, including the LGBTQ community and trans kids like my son, Max. We’ve done it before for other minority groups, and we can do it again. Anything less, quite frankly, is un-American.
My Son Is Trans. This Is How Hard It Is to Get Him Gender-Affirming Care
If Max can’t even get an inhaler refill at the same doctor he’s been seeing for years, how easy will it be for him to get access to affirming care as he gets older?
Together We Rise! (video and transcript)
They thought they could pick on trans kids like my son, they thought that no one would notice if trans people just disappeared, but they underestimated this mamabear, and they underestimated the power of the people. Because TOGETHER WE RISE.
5 ways you can be a better ally to trans kids
In a world that wants to tell trans kids that they're different, you have an opportunity to tell them that they're special. Here are 5 ways you can be a better ally:
What Back To School Is Like For Trans Kids
In no particular order, and certainly far from complete, here’s a list of a half-dozen things that parents of trans kids are thinking about when the school year starts, and how teachers, parents of cisgender kids, and friends can be allies. I’m sure we’d all rather be thinking about cool monkey bar tricks on the playground instead — but there’s a lot of work to do, first.
What Nobody Talks About When We Talk about School “Bathroom Bills”
This story doesn’t begin with a bathroom break. This story begins at the age of two, when my child told me that he was a boy. To be honest, two-year-olds like to pretend that they’re lots of things, so I chalked it up to playing another round of make believe. Little did I know what the future would hold for my family.
That viral photo of my trans son crying? Here’s what’s really going on.
Like most parents, there are plenty of days when I ask myself whether I’m a good mom. This was not one of them.
An open letter to Speaker Joe Straus
When Max’s peers line up for the bathroom next fall, Dan Patrick and Greg Abbott want my son to be separated from his class, to do a shameful march down the hall and to use a different facility. They want to demonstrate to his classmates that being different isn’t okay and that it’s perfectly acceptable to treat those differences with disdain and ridicule. That sounds like an awful lot like what bullies do.
Choosing love over fear
People often ask me why I chose to allow my son to be transgender. But I think they're asking it all wrong.
Baby Shower 2.0: Celebrating My Transgender Son’s New Identity
The blue jellybeans were assembled in pint-sized mason jars on my kitchen table, and my husband was about to head to the store to pick up the balloon bouquet while I put the finishing touches on the decorations. The kids and I had made a batch of homemade chocolate ice cream, and the giant, freshly-baked… Continue reading Baby Shower 2.0: Celebrating My Transgender Son’s New Identity